I was at the end. I drank, passed out, came to, and drank some more. I drank up my child support money. I went to bars, not to pick up men, but to find one to buy me drinks. And then someone I knew called DSS on me. No, I did not leave my children alone, nor did I ever hit them or verbally abuse them. I was not emotionally available to them.
The person who called DSS did it maliciously. However, if I ever see this woman again, I will thank her for saving my life and the emotional stability of my children!
The GOD word has always bothered me since I was raised agnostic but now I was desperate!
I was court ordered to attend meetings from an old D.U.I. and the day I got the phone call from DSS I literally ran to an A. A. meeting. I was shaking so badly that someone had to hold my coffee for me.
I found the courage to ask a woman to sponsor me who seemed to have the kind of sobriety that I wanted. She just poured out positive energy and assured me that if I did what was suggested, I would be ok: 90 meetings in 90 days, asking a higher power that I didn't even believe in for help every morning and thanked him for help each night.
I read and re-read the Big Book. And I called people who so freely gave me their phone numbers and their time. One day at a time.
At first, I stayed on steps 1-2, and 3. That was all I could handle at that time. And little by little, I began to clear up! It didn’t happen fast but it did happen and isn’t that what counts.
I love sobriety! I love to work with newcomers! Thank you AA for all that I have learned and am blessed to share with others!