• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
 

Anaheim Lighthouse

Beds Available Now!

Verify Insurance
Questions? Call Now(877) 959-5909
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us
  • Our Team
  • Yelp & Google Reviews
  • Client Testimonials
  • Accreditation & Licensing
  • Employment Opportunities
  • Press Releases
  • Alchohol Abuse
  • Drug Addiction
  • Dual Diagnosis
  • Trauma Victims
  • Veterans Program
  • Holistic Treatment
  • Specialties
  • Detox Alcohol & Drugs
  • Drug Rehab
  • Inpatient Rehab
  • Complete Residential Care
  • Partial Hospitalization
  • Intensive Outpatient
  • Intervention
  • Family Support
  • Verify Insurance
  • Admissions Information
  • Financing Options
  • Coronavirus Safety Procedures
  • Alcoholism
  • Health and Wellness
  • Life in Recovery
  • Love and Relationships
  • Opioid Addiction
  • Parent Resources
  • Relapse and Recovery
  • Substance Abuse

How I Forgave Myself for My Drug Addiction

Aug 15 2018
Categories:Articles

When the time came in my recovery to apologize to and make amends with all of the people I hurt during my using, I expected I would finally be free of all of the guilt I carried.

It didn't quite work out that way.

The Value of an Apology

First of all, not everyone accepted my apology or wanted to make amends, which was devastating for me. I felt stuck with my remorse, and it became a constant, uncomfortable reminder of all of the things I had done to those people.

It went a little bit better with those who decided to give me another chance, but most of them were still a bit guarded, as if I was on probation in their minds. I didn't blame them. Who wants to trust someone who has repeatedly lied and stolen from them? Who wants to take yet another chance on their hearts being broken?

People say that when you accept someone's apology and forgive them, it is for you, the victim, not for the person who wronged you, but I have learned firsthand how much power someone's forgiveness really has over the wrongdoer as well.

anaheimlighthouse-how-i-forgave-myself-for-my-drug-addiction-article-photo-woman-crying-on-the-bench

Guilt, Shame, and Self-Punishment

I spent years getting high, feeling guilty about it, then getting high again to dull the shame I felt over getting high. After a while, I saw myself as a bad seed, the black sheep of my family, and simply unlovable. Now that I was sober, I had a deeply rooted need for approval, because I had no idea how to love myself. Without forgiveness, the best I could do was to put myself on probation and punish myself for every subsequent infraction, whether real or imagined.

I felt like I wasn't making any progress in my sober life, and I sank into a deep depression fueled by self-loathing. I stopped going to my AA and NA  meetings, ignored my sponsor's efforts to reach out to me, barricaded myself in my apartment, and lost my job. People assumed I started using again, and I actually thought that maybe I should. I even contemplated suicide.

Bad Choices vs. Bad Person

Thankfully, my sponsor refused to give up on me even though I had given up on myself. When I stopped taking her calls, she wrote me a letter, the contents of which saved my life.

She told me that just because I have made some bad choices in the past, it did not mean I was a bad person. And now that I have done everything I possibly could to repair any damage I may have caused to another person, my work was done. It was now time for them to make a choice.

How I Forgave Myself

I called my sponsor immediately, and we talked for an hour. That one-on-one sharing helped me immensely. I started a journal, writing down any negative feelings I was having towards myself, which really helped me to see the reality of any given situation. I resumed going to meetings. Listening to others share their own mistakes helped me keep mine in perspective. I also started writing down what I did right each day. I even posted a note on my fridge, right at eye level, that said, "You will never be perfect. Neither will anyone else."

Every morning when I get up, I remind myself that I am now free, free to make choices that won't hurt anyone else, or myself, choices I can be proud of because I am a good person. Life is now a precious gift, not a burden. I had to learn that I deserved love in recovery.

If you or your loved one needs help, contact us today and feel free to talk to us about addiction treatment programs at our affordable drug and alcohol rehab that fit your needs. The Anaheim Lighthouse is a modern and effective addiction treatment center in Southern California.

Confidential Contact Form

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Privacy Policy

Learn About Lighthouse

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff
KNOW MORE

BLOG CATEGORIES

All Categories Alcoholism Drug Facts Health and Wellness Love and Relationships Opioid Addiction

Recent Posts

Delta-8 THC

How Long Does Delta 8 High Last? FAQs About Delta-8 THC

June 20 2022
Delta 8

How Long Does Delta 8 Stay In Your System? Urine, Blood, Saliva, Hair

June 13 2022
Delta 8

Does Delta 8 Show Up On A Drug Test? Read This First

June 7 2022
White Claw

Can White Claw Get You Drunk? The Answer Might Surprise You

June 1 2022
Cocaine Addiction

Can You Die From Cocaine? The Lethal Truth About This Dangerous Drug

May 26 2022

WHY CHOOSE LIGHTHOUSE

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff

Google Reviews

Christopher Tamburello

Absolutely loved this place. Great counselors- my counselor was Johnny. Great Alumni aftercare program that helps keep you connected. I highly recommend Lighthouse for anyone struggling with alcohol or drug addiction.

Josh Mugol

When I first stepped in to fill out the paper work to get admitted to housing, I immediately felt welcomed. If you treat the staff, therapists, and doctors with respect and use common courtesy, you will get more in return. The staff is run by former addicts/alcoholics so they...

Teresa Egan

The Lighthouse saved my life. I was willing to do whatever it takes to learn how to live a new way of life. Before I came into the program I was a hollow shell just wanting to die.. The staff loved me until I could love myself, and taught me how to deal with myself. I have a...

Related Posts

Sep 12 2018

Does Hypnosis Work for Drug Addiction?

Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is the process of using relaxation techniques to induce suggestions on the mind, which then affect the conscious mind, which is thought to be effective in treating substance use disorders related to behavioral problems. While often a subject of contention in medical circl...
Aug 29 2018

7 Bad Habits That Will Affect Your Recovery

Whether you’ve recently left rehab or have been in recovery for some time, relapse is always a risk. Taking the time and care to build good habits revolving around keeping your mental and physical health in a good place, helping you to cope with cravings, and building a support network so that wh...
Aug 22 2018

Drug Use at Raves and Club

Clubs and raves are almost as well-known for their drugs as for music and dancing, with millions of people around the world participating in a culture of use and abuse while out. These drugs range from the well-known MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) to a range of less-identifiable drugs known...
Aug 09 2018

Setting Healthy Boundaries with an Addict

Boundaries are an incredibly healthy part of any relationship, but when your loved one is addicted to a substance, good boundaries can mean the difference between a toxic relationship that harms you and them and one in which both of you can benefit. Addiction changes people, damaging the ego and ...
Aug 01 2018

8 Ways to Teach Yourself You Deserve Love in Recovery

After I hit my bottom and came into recovery I realized that I had super low self-esteem, and that those feelings would need to change somehow. I thought once I got sober that it would be a piece of cake. After all, my drinking was what caused all of my problems. I was clueless. GETTING TO KNOW ...
Jul 24 2018

Marijuana Side Effects

Marijuana is an increasingly accepted drug which has been legalized in 9 states for recreational use. With as many as 61% of Americans supporting further legalization, acceptance of the drug is at an all-time high. That's not a surprise, considering 52% of Americans admit to having tried cannabis...

We Accept Insurance

Don’t see your provider? Contact us to confirm coverage.

3 Easy Options to Get Started or Learn More

You Call Us

We are here to answer your questions. Learn about detox, treatment, costs, or anything else. Give us a call now.
(877) 959-5909

We Call You

Complete this secure form to receive a fast response from our support team

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Verify Your Insurance

Quickly confirm your coverage using our fast & easy verification system. We accept most insurances (and financing).
Verify My Insurance
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us

Connect With Us

(877) 959-5909

1320 West Pearl Street, Anaheim, CA 92801

Copyright © 2022 Anaheim Lighthouse. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Web Accessibility

Accessibility

Accessibility modes

Epilepsy Safe Mode
Dampens color and removes blinks
This mode enables people with epilepsy to use the website safely by eliminating the risk of seizures that result from flashing or blinking animations and risky color combinations.
Visually Impaired Mode
Improves website's visuals
This mode adjusts the website for the convenience of users with visual impairments such as Degrading Eyesight, Tunnel Vision, Cataract, Glaucoma, and others.
Cognitive Disability Mode
Helps to focus on specific content
This mode provides different assistive options to help users with cognitive impairments such as Dyslexia, Autism, CVA, and others, to focus on the essential elements of the website more easily.
ADHD Friendly Mode
Reduces distractions and improve focus
This mode helps users with ADHD and Neurodevelopmental disorders to read, browse, and focus on the main website elements more easily while significantly reducing distractions.
Blindness Mode
Allows using the site with your screen-reader
This mode configures the website to be compatible with screen-readers such as JAWS, NVDA, VoiceOver, and TalkBack. A screen-reader is software for blind users that is installed on a computer and smartphone, and websites must be compatible with it.

Online Dictionary

    Readable Experience

    Content Scaling
    Default
    Text Magnifier
    Readable Font
    Dyslexia Friendly
    Highlight Titles
    Highlight Links
    Font Sizing
    Default
    Line Height
    Default
    Letter Spacing
    Default
    Left Aligned
    Center Aligned
    Right Aligned

    Visually Pleasing Experience

    Dark Contrast
    Light Contrast
    Monochrome
    High Contrast
    High Saturation
    Low Saturation
    Adjust Text Colors
    Adjust Title Colors
    Adjust Background Colors

    Easy Orientation

    Mute Sounds
    Hide Images
    Virtual Keyboard
    Reading Guide
    Stop Animations
    Reading Mask
    Highlight Hover
    Highlight Focus
    Big Dark Cursor
    Big Light Cursor
    Navigation Keys

    Anaheim Lighthouse Accessibility Statement

    Accessibility Statement

    • anaheimlighthouse.com
    • July 3, 2022

    Compliance status

    We firmly believe that the internet should be available and accessible to anyone, and are committed to providing a website that is accessible to the widest possible audience, regardless of circumstance and ability.

    To fulfill this, we aim to adhere as strictly as possible to the World Wide Web Consortium’s (W3C) Web Content Accessibility Guidelines 2.1 (WCAG 2.1) at the AA level. These guidelines explain how to make web content accessible to people with a wide array of disabilities. Complying with those guidelines helps us ensure that the website is accessible to all people: blind people, people with motor impairments, visual impairment, cognitive disabilities, and more.

    This website utilizes various technologies that are meant to make it as accessible as possible at all times. We utilize an accessibility interface that allows persons with specific disabilities to adjust the website’s UI (user interface) and design it to their personal needs.

    Additionally, the website utilizes an AI-based application that runs in the background and optimizes its accessibility level constantly. This application remediates the website’s HTML, adapts Its functionality and behavior for screen-readers used by the blind users, and for keyboard functions used by individuals with motor impairments.

    If you’ve found a malfunction or have ideas for improvement, we’ll be happy to hear from you. You can reach out to the website’s operators by using the following email

    Screen-reader and keyboard navigation

    Our website implements the ARIA attributes (Accessible Rich Internet Applications) technique, alongside various different behavioral changes, to ensure blind users visiting with screen-readers are able to read, comprehend, and enjoy the website’s functions. As soon as a user with a screen-reader enters your site, they immediately receive a prompt to enter the Screen-Reader Profile so they can browse and operate your site effectively. Here’s how our website covers some of the most important screen-reader requirements, alongside console screenshots of code examples:

    1. Screen-reader optimization: we run a background process that learns the website’s components from top to bottom, to ensure ongoing compliance even when updating the website. In this process, we provide screen-readers with meaningful data using the ARIA set of attributes. For example, we provide accurate form labels; descriptions for actionable icons (social media icons, search icons, cart icons, etc.); validation guidance for form inputs; element roles such as buttons, menus, modal dialogues (popups), and others. Additionally, the background process scans all of the website’s images and provides an accurate and meaningful image-object-recognition-based description as an ALT (alternate text) tag for images that are not described. It will also extract texts that are embedded within the image, using an OCR (optical character recognition) technology. To turn on screen-reader adjustments at any time, users need only to press the Alt+1 keyboard combination. Screen-reader users also get automatic announcements to turn the Screen-reader mode on as soon as they enter the website.

      These adjustments are compatible with all popular screen readers, including JAWS and NVDA.

    2. Keyboard navigation optimization: The background process also adjusts the website’s HTML, and adds various behaviors using JavaScript code to make the website operable by the keyboard. This includes the ability to navigate the website using the Tab and Shift+Tab keys, operate dropdowns with the arrow keys, close them with Esc, trigger buttons and links using the Enter key, navigate between radio and checkbox elements using the arrow keys, and fill them in with the Spacebar or Enter key.Additionally, keyboard users will find quick-navigation and content-skip menus, available at any time by clicking Alt+1, or as the first elements of the site while navigating with the keyboard. The background process also handles triggered popups by moving the keyboard focus towards them as soon as they appear, and not allow the focus drift outside of it.

      Users can also use shortcuts such as “M” (menus), “H” (headings), “F” (forms), “B” (buttons), and “G” (graphics) to jump to specific elements.

    Disability profiles supported in our website

    • Epilepsy Safe Mode: this profile enables people with epilepsy to use the website safely by eliminating the risk of seizures that result from flashing or blinking animations and risky color combinations.
    • Visually Impaired Mode: this mode adjusts the website for the convenience of users with visual impairments such as Degrading Eyesight, Tunnel Vision, Cataract, Glaucoma, and others.
    • Cognitive Disability Mode: this mode provides different assistive options to help users with cognitive impairments such as Dyslexia, Autism, CVA, and others, to focus on the essential elements of the website more easily.
    • ADHD Friendly Mode: this mode helps users with ADHD and Neurodevelopmental disorders to read, browse, and focus on the main website elements more easily while significantly reducing distractions.
    • Blindness Mode: this mode configures the website to be compatible with screen-readers such as JAWS, NVDA, VoiceOver, and TalkBack. A screen-reader is software for blind users that is installed on a computer and smartphone, and websites must be compatible with it.
    • Keyboard Navigation Profile (Motor-Impaired): this profile enables motor-impaired persons to operate the website using the keyboard Tab, Shift+Tab, and the Enter keys. Users can also use shortcuts such as “M” (menus), “H” (headings), “F” (forms), “B” (buttons), and “G” (graphics) to jump to specific elements.

    Additional UI, design, and readability adjustments

    1. Font adjustments – users, can increase and decrease its size, change its family (type), adjust the spacing, alignment, line height, and more.
    2. Color adjustments – users can select various color contrast profiles such as light, dark, inverted, and monochrome. Additionally, users can swap color schemes of titles, texts, and backgrounds, with over 7 different coloring options.
    3. Animations – epileptic users can stop all running animations with the click of a button. Animations controlled by the interface include videos, GIFs, and CSS flashing transitions.
    4. Content highlighting – users can choose to emphasize important elements such as links and titles. They can also choose to highlight focused or hovered elements only.
    5. Audio muting – users with hearing devices may experience headaches or other issues due to automatic audio playing. This option lets users mute the entire website instantly.
    6. Cognitive disorders – we utilize a search engine that is linked to Wikipedia and Wiktionary, allowing people with cognitive disorders to decipher meanings of phrases, initials, slang, and others.
    7. Additional functions – we provide users the option to change cursor color and size, use a printing mode, enable a virtual keyboard, and many other functions.

    Browser and assistive technology compatibility

    We aim to support the widest array of browsers and assistive technologies as possible, so our users can choose the best fitting tools for them, with as few limitations as possible. Therefore, we have worked very hard to be able to support all major systems that comprise over 95% of the user market share including Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, Apple Safari, Opera and Microsoft Edge, JAWS and NVDA (screen readers), both for Windows and for MAC users.

    Notes, comments, and feedback

    Despite our very best efforts to allow anybody to adjust the website to their needs, there may still be pages or sections that are not fully accessible, are in the process of becoming accessible, or are lacking an adequate technological solution to make them accessible. Still, we are continually improving our accessibility, adding, updating and improving its options and features, and developing and adopting new technologies. All this is meant to reach the optimal level of accessibility, following technological advancements. For any assistance, please reach out to