• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
 

Anaheim Lighthouse

Your Beacon of Hope!

Questions? Call Now(877) 959-5909
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us
  • Our Team
  • Awards & Recognitions
  • Yelp & Google Reviews
  • Client Testimonials
  • Accreditation & Licensing
  • Employment Opportunities
  • Press Releases
  • Alchohol Abuse
  • Drug Addiction
  • Dual Diagnosis
  • Trauma Victims
  • Veterans Program
  • Holistic Treatment
  • Specialties
  • Detox Alcohol & Drugs
  • Drug Rehab
  • Inpatient Rehab
  • Complete Residential Care
  • Partial Hospitalization
  • Intensive Outpatient
  • Intervention
  • Family Support
  • Verify Insurance
  • Financing Options
  • Coronavirus Safety Procedures
  • Alcoholism
  • Health and Wellness
  • Life in Recovery
  • Love and Relationships
  • Opioid Addiction
  • Parent Resources
  • Relapse and Recovery
  • Substance Abuse
  • Opioids
  • Sleeping Pills
  • Stimulants

How to Say NO to an Addict You Love

Jun 13 2017
Categories:Articles

I was at my wit's end. My husband had spent the rent money on booze and wanted me to tell the landlord that we had an unexpected expense with the car. This was right after he had me ask the neighbor for gas money the day before.

I was so tired of it all, tired of embarrassing myself, tired of never having any money, tired of feeling like I was working for nothing, tired of being evicted for non-payment of rent.

Later that night, my phone rang at 1:30 in the morning. Realizing that it was Jeff and surmising that he got another DUI caused something inside of me to snap. I had enough.

I didn't answer the phone. Instead, I turned it off and went back to sleep. I did it because I was angry, but what I didn't realize was that I had just taken the first step to no longer enabling him to keep getting drunk.

I felt a little guilty about it when my alarm went off the next morning, and he wasn't sleeping beside me. But a half hour later, he called again, screaming and yelling at me for not answering the phone the night before.

He wanted me to call off work to come downtown and bail him out. Instead, I called in sick and sat down and cried. Then I called my best friend who shared with me the best advice I ever received: just say no.

Her sister is a recovered alcoholic, and my friend explained that in order for her to stop drinking, my friend had to stop helping her sister out of every predicament she got herself into due to her drinking. It took a few months, but when she ran out of friends and family and she had nothing and no one to turn to, she agreed to seek treatment. She has been sober for six years now.

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my whole life, but it was also the best thing I could have done for both of us.

anaheimlighthouse-how-to-say-no-to-an-addict-you-love-article-photo-picture-of-young-couple-having-difficulties-in-relationship-273337175

I told my husband I was no longer going to help him kill himself. Then I gradually let go of the guilt by attending Al-Anon meetings where I received advice and support in order to do so.

Meanwhile, my husband served his full term and began a court-ordered rehab program. I did not visit him when he was in jail; that decision was part of my tough love program. I learned that he had to be accountable for his own actions and suffer the consequences of his choices.

I learned all about people, places, and things that addicts need to stay away from. I decided to pack up and move to a city 65 miles away where I could continue working the same job with a simple transfer. The company even paid for my moving expenses. Now my husband could have a brand new start.

It still wasn't easy, but at least I didn't feel like a warden anymore.

Once I understood that saying no was the most loving thing I could do for my husband and for myself, it started to get a little easier. In rehab, he had taken the steps to learn how to say no to himself, and I didn't have to anymore.

I learned it really is possible to have a healthy relationship with someone in recovery. All it takes to begin is to just say no. It worked for us, and it can work for you, too.

The Anaheim Lighthouse is a modern and effective addiction treatment center in Southern California. To talk to us about treatment options at our affordable drug and alcohol rehab that fit your needs, call (877) 959-2711.

Confidential Contact Form

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Privacy Policy

Learn About Lighthouse

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff
KNOW MORE

BLOG CATEGORIES

All Categories Alcoholism Drug Facts Health and Wellness Love and Relationships Opioid Addiction

Recent Posts

Snort Xanax

Can You Snort Xanax? Dangers You Should Know

March 20 2023
Alcoholism

5 Ways To Spot A Closet Drinker

March 13 2023
St. Patrick's Day In Addiction Recovery

Surviving St. Patrick's Day In Recovery

March 3 2023
Snort Hydrocodone

Can You Snort Hydrocodone? Here's Why You Shouldn't?

February 17 2023
Valentine's Day When You're Single And Sober

How To Spend Valentine's Day When You're Single And Sober

February 6 2023

WHY CHOOSE LIGHTHOUSE

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff

Google Reviews

Christopher Tamburello

Absolutely loved this place. Great counselors- my counselor was Johnny. Great Alumni aftercare program that helps keep you connected. I highly recommend Lighthouse for anyone struggling with alcohol or drug addiction.

Josh Mugol

When I first stepped in to fill out the paper work to get admitted to housing, I immediately felt welcomed. If you treat the staff, therapists, and doctors with respect and use common courtesy, you will get more in return. The staff is run by former addicts/alcoholics so they...

Teresa Egan

The Lighthouse saved my life. I was willing to do whatever it takes to learn how to live a new way of life. Before I came into the program I was a hollow shell just wanting to die.. The staff loved me until I could love myself, and taught me how to deal with myself. I have a...

Related Posts

Sep 12 2018

Does Hypnosis Work for Drug Addiction?

Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is the process of using relaxation techniques to induce suggestions on the mind, which then affect the conscious mind, which is thought to be effective in treating substance use disorders related to behavioral problems. While often a subject of contention in medical circl...
Aug 29 2018

7 Bad Habits That Will Affect Your Recovery

Whether you’ve recently left rehab or have been in recovery for some time, relapse is always a risk. Taking the time and care to build good habits revolving around keeping your mental and physical health in a good place, helping you to cope with cravings, and building a support network so that wh...
Aug 22 2018

Drug Use at Raves and Club

Clubs and raves are almost as well-known for their drugs as for music and dancing, with millions of people around the world participating in a culture of use and abuse while out. These drugs range from the well-known MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) to a range of less-identifiable drugs known...
Aug 15 2018

How I Forgave Myself for My Drug Addiction

When the time came in my recovery to apologize to and make amends with all of the people I hurt during my using, I expected I would finally be free of all of the guilt I carried. It didn't quite work out that way. The Value of an Apology First of all, not everyone accepted my apology or wanted t...
Aug 09 2018

Setting Healthy Boundaries with an Addict

Boundaries are an incredibly healthy part of any relationship, but when your loved one is addicted to a substance, good boundaries can mean the difference between a toxic relationship that harms you and them and one in which both of you can benefit. Addiction changes people, damaging the ego and ...
Aug 01 2018

8 Ways to Teach Yourself You Deserve Love in Recovery

After I hit my bottom and came into recovery I realized that I had super low self-esteem, and that those feelings would need to change somehow. I thought once I got sober that it would be a piece of cake. After all, my drinking was what caused all of my problems. I was clueless. GETTING TO KNOW ...

We Accept Insurance

Don’t see your provider? Contact us to confirm coverage.

3 Easy Options to Get Started or Learn More

You Call Us

We are here to answer your questions. Learn about detox, treatment, costs, or anything else. Give us a call now.
(877) 959-5909

We Call You

Complete this secure form to receive a fast response from our support team
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Verify Your Insurance

Quickly confirm your coverage using our fast & easy verification system. We accept most insurances (and financing).
Verify My Insurance
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us

Connect With Us

(877) 959-5909

1320 West Pearl Street, Anaheim, CA 92801

Licensed and Certified by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188AP Exp. 5/31/2024
Licensed by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188CP Exp. 5/31/2024
Certified by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188FP Exp 5/31/2023

Copyright © 2022 Anaheim Lighthouse. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Web Accessibility