• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
 

Anaheim Lighthouse

Beds Available Now!

Verify Insurance
Questions? Call Now(877) 959-5909
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us
  • Our Team
  • Yelp & Google Reviews
  • Client Testimonials
  • Accreditation & Licensing
  • Employment Opportunities
  • Press Releases
  • Alchohol Abuse
  • Drug Addiction
  • Dual Diagnosis
  • Trauma Victims
  • Veterans Program
  • Holistic Treatment
  • Specialties
  • Detox Alcohol & Drugs
  • Drug Rehab
  • Inpatient Rehab
  • Complete Residential Care
  • Partial Hospitalization
  • Intensive Outpatient
  • Intervention
  • Family Support
  • Verify Insurance
  • Admissions Information
  • Financing Options
  • Coronavirus Safety Procedures
  • Alcoholism
  • Health and Wellness
  • Life in Recovery
  • Love and Relationships
  • Opioid Addiction
  • Parent Resources
  • Relapse and Recovery
  • Substance Abuse
  • Opioids
  • Sleeping Pills
  • Stimulants

How do I Handle my First Sober Heartbreak?

Oct 10 2017
Categories:Articles

I had been sober for three years when he walked out the door. He literally just got up in the middle of a television program, and without saying a word, he walked out the door and never came back.

We hadn't even had an argument.

Seven years earlier, I developed an addiction to prescription pain killers after I broke my pelvis in a skiing accident when I was 15. By the age of 19, I was having a hard time keeping it together. Then Kurt walked into my life.

Within weeks, we were living together, and it wasn't long until he caught on to my addiction. But instead of breaking up with me, he helped me get sober.

The next two years were fairly happy ones. We had our ups and downs like any other couple, but I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary. The last year we were together, I sensed some sort of shift on his part, though. I asked him several times if everything was okay, and he said yes, so I trusted him.

And then he pulled this crap.

I cried myself to sleep that first night, but when I awoke in the morning, I figured he would call or stop by, apologize or explain, but I got nothing.

I didn't go to work that day. I thought surely he would come by that evening, and when he didn't, I went from sadness to madness. How dare he spend the last three years of his life with me and then just walk out of my life like he never knew me!

I didn't realize it at the time, but I had just transitioned from denial to anger in the five stages of grief. I was going to soon learn that grieving wasn't reserved strictly for the loss of a loved one through death. One also grieves the loss of a relationship.

I was never much of a drinker, but I had a sudden urge to get smashed, so I called my best friend, Melissa, and asked her to do some bar hopping with me. Melissa, who was in her last year of nursing school had a better idea, and we met at Starbucks instead.

anaheimlighthouse-how-do-i-handle-my-first-sober-heartbreak-article-photo-two-young-female-friends-laugh-and-having-lunch-together-at-restaurant-726138742

Over mocha frappes, she told me it was okay to be angry; in fact, it was perfectly normal and healthy. But, as an addict, how I deal with that anger is critical.

Then she gave me some interesting advice: Listen to funny break-up songs. She even had some already downloaded for me to listen to. The reprieve may have only been for a few minutes, but it was long enough to dispel my desire to go out drinking.

After that, we discussed the next three stages of grief: bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

When we go through a breakup, we can find ourselves tempted to try to talk the other person into coming back to us, and if we are rejected, relapse could be right around the corner.

Instead, she suggested treating myself to something special or starting a new hobby. I chose a day at the spa.

When the depression hit, I realized I couldn't do this on my own, and I started going to 12-step meetings. I had never been to one before and was very nervous, but soon found that I was in a room full of new friends, friends who truly understood me.

I'll probably never know why Kurt left, but what I do know is that I have grown tremendously in the process. Acceptance had finally come.

If you or your loved one is struggling with addiction, you can talk to us about addiction treatment programs  at our affordable drug and alcohol rehab that fit your needs, call us today at (844) 494-4939.  The Anaheim Lighthouse is a modern and effective addiction treatment center in Southern California.

Confidential Contact Form

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Privacy Policy

Learn About Lighthouse

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff
KNOW MORE

BLOG CATEGORIES

All Categories Alcoholism Drug Facts Health and Wellness Love and Relationships Opioid Addiction

Recent Posts

Rehab for Weed Addiction

Can You Go To Rehab for Weed?

August 15 2022
Dangers of Adderall Abuse

Can You Snort Adderall? Dangers of Adderall Abuse

August 10 2022
Drug Rehab

How To Get Someone To Go To Rehab

July 29 2022
Dab Pen And Weed

Are Dab Pen And Weed The Same?

July 26 2022
Opioid Seeking Behavior

What Is Opioid Seeking Behavior? Signs You Need To Look Out For

July 15 2022

WHY CHOOSE LIGHTHOUSE

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff

Google Reviews

Christopher Tamburello

Absolutely loved this place. Great counselors- my counselor was Johnny. Great Alumni aftercare program that helps keep you connected. I highly recommend Lighthouse for anyone struggling with alcohol or drug addiction.

Josh Mugol

When I first stepped in to fill out the paper work to get admitted to housing, I immediately felt welcomed. If you treat the staff, therapists, and doctors with respect and use common courtesy, you will get more in return. The staff is run by former addicts/alcoholics so they...

Teresa Egan

The Lighthouse saved my life. I was willing to do whatever it takes to learn how to live a new way of life. Before I came into the program I was a hollow shell just wanting to die.. The staff loved me until I could love myself, and taught me how to deal with myself. I have a...

Related Posts

Sep 12 2018

Does Hypnosis Work for Drug Addiction?

Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is the process of using relaxation techniques to induce suggestions on the mind, which then affect the conscious mind, which is thought to be effective in treating substance use disorders related to behavioral problems. While often a subject of contention in medical circl...
Aug 29 2018

7 Bad Habits That Will Affect Your Recovery

Whether you’ve recently left rehab or have been in recovery for some time, relapse is always a risk. Taking the time and care to build good habits revolving around keeping your mental and physical health in a good place, helping you to cope with cravings, and building a support network so that wh...
Aug 22 2018

Drug Use at Raves and Club

Clubs and raves are almost as well-known for their drugs as for music and dancing, with millions of people around the world participating in a culture of use and abuse while out. These drugs range from the well-known MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) to a range of less-identifiable drugs known...
Aug 15 2018

How I Forgave Myself for My Drug Addiction

When the time came in my recovery to apologize to and make amends with all of the people I hurt during my using, I expected I would finally be free of all of the guilt I carried. It didn't quite work out that way. The Value of an Apology First of all, not everyone accepted my apology or wanted t...
Aug 09 2018

Setting Healthy Boundaries with an Addict

Boundaries are an incredibly healthy part of any relationship, but when your loved one is addicted to a substance, good boundaries can mean the difference between a toxic relationship that harms you and them and one in which both of you can benefit. Addiction changes people, damaging the ego and ...
Aug 01 2018

8 Ways to Teach Yourself You Deserve Love in Recovery

After I hit my bottom and came into recovery I realized that I had super low self-esteem, and that those feelings would need to change somehow. I thought once I got sober that it would be a piece of cake. After all, my drinking was what caused all of my problems. I was clueless. GETTING TO KNOW ...

We Accept Insurance

Don’t see your provider? Contact us to confirm coverage.

3 Easy Options to Get Started or Learn More

You Call Us

We are here to answer your questions. Learn about detox, treatment, costs, or anything else. Give us a call now.
(877) 959-5909

We Call You

Complete this secure form to receive a fast response from our support team

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Verify Your Insurance

Quickly confirm your coverage using our fast & easy verification system. We accept most insurances (and financing).
Verify My Insurance
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us

Connect With Us

(877) 959-5909

1320 West Pearl Street, Anaheim, CA 92801

Copyright © 2022 Anaheim Lighthouse. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Web Accessibility