• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
 

Anaheim Lighthouse

Your Beacon of Hope!

Questions? Call Now(877) 959-5909
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us
  • Our Team
  • Awards & Recognitions
  • Yelp & Google Reviews
  • Client Testimonials
  • Accreditation & Licensing
  • Employment Opportunities
  • Press Releases
  • Alchohol Abuse
  • Drug Addiction
  • Dual Diagnosis
  • Trauma Victims
  • Veterans Program
  • Holistic Treatment
  • Specialties
  • Detox Alcohol & Drugs
  • Drug Rehab
  • Inpatient Rehab
  • Complete Residential Care
  • Partial Hospitalization
  • Intensive Outpatient
  • Intervention
  • Family Support
  • Verify Insurance
  • Financing Options
  • Coronavirus Safety Procedures
  • Alcoholism
  • Health and Wellness
  • Life in Recovery
  • Love and Relationships
  • Opioid Addiction
  • Parent Resources
  • Relapse and Recovery
  • Substance Abuse
  • Opioids
  • Sleeping Pills
  • Stimulants

Should I Offer Sympathy or Support for My Addict?

Jul 25 2017
Categories:Articles

This is a question that so many loved ones of addicts ask each other. And it can be a very difficult question to answer. As the wife of an addict, this is what I have learned along the way:

First, I needed to identify exactly what sympathy means and how it would affect both myself and my husband in this situation. Dictionary.com defines sympathy as, "feeling pity, sorrow, or compassion for the hardships that another person encounters".

I think we can all agree that compassion is important. Compassion fosters trust. This trust functions in a number of positive ways including that they can confide in you and know you truly have their best interest at heart. They can then trust that whatever positive action you suggest they take is a safe course for them.

Sorrow and pity, however, are another matter. While we are naturally going to feel sorrow regarding our loved one's addiction, that sorrow doesn't foster any positive action. Instead, it will create a feeling of helplessness in your addict that simply perpetuates the problem.

Then there is pity. If you pity your addict, it is far too easy to enable them to continue in their addiction. It chips away at your strength to really support them. And, as soon as they know that they have your pity, they see a tool they can use to continue manipulating you so you don't stand in their way of getting high.

With all of this in mind, it occurred to me that empathy might be a better choice than sympathy in this situation. Empathy fosters compassion while ditching the sorrow and pity that comes with sympathy. This is because empathy allows you to put yourself in the shoes of another, in this case, your addict, without sorrow and pity clouding your judgment.

Although empathy is often confused with sympathy, it is really a much greater gift than sympathy. If you can sincerely tell your addict, "I get it", then they will no longer feel alone with their problem. It enables them to feel much more positive towards your support, which leads to the idea that maybe they really could get sober, because they have a sincere partner in their journey.

Practicing empathy presents its own challenges, however. If you are not an addict and/or your addict's choices are hurtful to you, it can be difficult to express.

anaheimlighthouse-should-i-offer-sympathy-or-support-for-my-addict-article-photo-unhappy-couple-not-talking-after-an-argument-in-bed-at-home-180190412

Here are five tips that will help you practice empathy so that you really can deliver that all-important support:

1. Do Not Rush Through Your Responses - Give your addict plenty of time to articulate their challenges. It is a process to identify these things, and it won't all come bubbling up at once. By the same token, allow yourself to fully absorb the information. Think before speaking, and imagine your response's effect.

2. Validate Your Addict's Feelings - Simply saying, "I understand" can give them the courage to continue identifying and sharing the emotions that led them to their addiction.

3. Remove Distractions - Turn off the TV and turn down the volume on your phone. Show your addict that you are giving them your undivided attention.

4. Body Language - Demonstrate your sincere interest by maintaining eye contact and giving an occasional nod to let them know you are still listening.

5. Show Respect - Let them know that you see a unique person with unlimited potential, not just an addict.

You see, it is not a question of choosing between sympathy and support. Instead, it is a matter of embracing empathy, which allows you to offer that all-important support.

The Anaheim Lighthouse is a modern and effective addiction treatment center in Southern California. To talk to us about addiction treatment programs  at our affordable drug and alcohol rehab that fit your needs, call (844) 494-4939.

Confidential Contact Form

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Privacy Policy

Learn About Lighthouse

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff
KNOW MORE

BLOG CATEGORIES

All Categories Alcoholism Drug Facts Health and Wellness Love and Relationships Opioid Addiction

Recent Posts

Snort Xanax

Can You Snort Xanax? Dangers You Should Know

March 20 2023
Alcoholism

5 Ways To Spot A Closet Drinker

March 13 2023
St. Patrick's Day In Addiction Recovery

Surviving St. Patrick's Day In Recovery

March 3 2023
Snort Hydrocodone

Can You Snort Hydrocodone? Here's Why You Shouldn't?

February 17 2023
Valentine's Day When You're Single And Sober

How To Spend Valentine's Day When You're Single And Sober

February 6 2023

WHY CHOOSE LIGHTHOUSE

  • Affordable Drug Rehab and Detox Center
  • CARF Certified
  • Homelike setting and world-class facilities
  • State licensed and certified
  • Most PPO insurance accepted
  • Specialized Alcohol and Drug Treatment Programs
  • Licensed and well-qualified professional staff

Google Reviews

Christopher Tamburello

Absolutely loved this place. Great counselors- my counselor was Johnny. Great Alumni aftercare program that helps keep you connected. I highly recommend Lighthouse for anyone struggling with alcohol or drug addiction.

Josh Mugol

When I first stepped in to fill out the paper work to get admitted to housing, I immediately felt welcomed. If you treat the staff, therapists, and doctors with respect and use common courtesy, you will get more in return. The staff is run by former addicts/alcoholics so they...

Teresa Egan

The Lighthouse saved my life. I was willing to do whatever it takes to learn how to live a new way of life. Before I came into the program I was a hollow shell just wanting to die.. The staff loved me until I could love myself, and taught me how to deal with myself. I have a...

Related Posts

Sep 12 2018

Does Hypnosis Work for Drug Addiction?

Hypnosis or hypnotherapy is the process of using relaxation techniques to induce suggestions on the mind, which then affect the conscious mind, which is thought to be effective in treating substance use disorders related to behavioral problems. While often a subject of contention in medical circl...
Aug 29 2018

7 Bad Habits That Will Affect Your Recovery

Whether you’ve recently left rehab or have been in recovery for some time, relapse is always a risk. Taking the time and care to build good habits revolving around keeping your mental and physical health in a good place, helping you to cope with cravings, and building a support network so that wh...
Aug 22 2018

Drug Use at Raves and Club

Clubs and raves are almost as well-known for their drugs as for music and dancing, with millions of people around the world participating in a culture of use and abuse while out. These drugs range from the well-known MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) to a range of less-identifiable drugs known...
Aug 15 2018

How I Forgave Myself for My Drug Addiction

When the time came in my recovery to apologize to and make amends with all of the people I hurt during my using, I expected I would finally be free of all of the guilt I carried. It didn't quite work out that way. The Value of an Apology First of all, not everyone accepted my apology or wanted t...
Aug 09 2018

Setting Healthy Boundaries with an Addict

Boundaries are an incredibly healthy part of any relationship, but when your loved one is addicted to a substance, good boundaries can mean the difference between a toxic relationship that harms you and them and one in which both of you can benefit. Addiction changes people, damaging the ego and ...
Aug 01 2018

8 Ways to Teach Yourself You Deserve Love in Recovery

After I hit my bottom and came into recovery I realized that I had super low self-esteem, and that those feelings would need to change somehow. I thought once I got sober that it would be a piece of cake. After all, my drinking was what caused all of my problems. I was clueless. GETTING TO KNOW ...

We Accept Insurance

Don’t see your provider? Contact us to confirm coverage.

3 Easy Options to Get Started or Learn More

You Call Us

We are here to answer your questions. Learn about detox, treatment, costs, or anything else. Give us a call now.
(877) 959-5909

We Call You

Complete this secure form to receive a fast response from our support team
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Verify Your Insurance

Quickly confirm your coverage using our fast & easy verification system. We accept most insurances (and financing).
Verify My Insurance
  • About Us
  • What We Treat
  • Treatment Options
  • Our Facility
  • Admissions
  • Learn About
  • Contact Us

Connect With Us

(877) 959-5909

1320 West Pearl Street, Anaheim, CA 92801

Licensed and Certified by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188AP Exp. 5/31/2024
Licensed by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188CP Exp. 5/31/2024
Certified by the State Department of Health Care Services 300188FP Exp 5/31/2023

Copyright © 2022 Anaheim Lighthouse. All Rights Reserved. | Privacy Policy | Web Accessibility